This is kind of a silly topic, but I feel compelled to write about it because now, I am married, so I am obviously an expert on relationships (this is a joke, please sense the sarcasm…). I heard the Brad Paisley song “Letter to Me” and it made me think about my younger self and all the years of boy-crazy Holly that led me to my husband, Dan! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ3bn7V0zdU)
Before I met Dan, I had interesting and somewhat awful experiences with boys. The one thing I can honestly say is that I always felt like I had to chase these previous boys. It wasn’t always fun, I always felt like I had something to prove, and probably wasn’t completely myself. When I met Dan, he was SO polite, had the best manners, and was just the best. I can’t even really fully explain in words, but when I met Dan he made me feel comfortable, pretty, and like everything I said mattered–he always listened. Now, I have to say his name every time I want him to listen to me because he has become an expert at tuning me out. I know this is just because I am always talking, haha.
Anyways, everyone goes through it. Most can typically say they dated some losers before they met “the one.” I always think it is funny to see who people end up with. I especially love when people I knew separately in high school or even younger, end up getting married, even though they weren’t together in high school. It’s just interesting how life works and how you get reintroduced to people you already “knew,” but at a different point in your life, and now things just work!
My advice to anyone that is still searching for the perfect match is to stop searching. Start looking within yourself because chances are you may not love yourself whole heartedly, and until you love yourself—no one will actually love you. It’s a harsh reality check, but I think it is one that people need to do for themselves. The person that I “dated” before Dan made me realize everything I didn’t want in a relationship. I am happy to hear that he is happily married, but the fact is he treated me like crap (hopefully he is much better and kinder to his wife). He lied, often, and never made me a priority…ever! I was sort of blind to this when I was involved with him and I just liked having someone, so I decided to settle for someone that made me feel awful. If you aren’t getting the things you need out of your relationship, you need to take time NOW to re-evaluate it. For some people it may just be speaking up, and saying that the relationship isn’t working and come up with a plan together to fix it. If you have these big conversations and still feel confused or not happy–get out before you are just too emotionally involved. These are conversations I tried to have with the person I dated before Dan, and I always got the same response, “don’t worry Hol, things are fine the way they are.” The truth was they weren’t fine because I never felt like they were and he never actually successfully convinced me that whatever joke of a relationship we were in was worth putting time or effort into.
Anyways, the one thing that makes me so happy is that some of my friends are starting to date people that are actually wholesome and so genuine. It just makes me feel so good that they have finally found people that are deserving of their attention. I didn’t really fully understand what this looked like until I met Dan. I feel very lucky that I met Dan at a young age. Thanks for working at College Humor Rachel!
Do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. Sometimes it may be ditching the loser that your family “likes.” Chances are if you told your family how awful you are treated on a daily basis, your family would and should side with you. Life is way too short to not feel fulfilled. Now get out there and find your very own Dan!!!
Well, that is all I have for you today!
Thank you for reading and have a fun day 🙂
Here is my picture of the day…