Forceful Vendors…Just Walk Away

One thing I strongly disliked while wedding planning was interviewing potential vendors and calling around and explaining what we wanted.  The first vendor I thought I liked for catering turned out to be the most wretched human being.  When we first started wedding planning, I wanted our wedding to be super casual, on the farm, and more of like a pig roast style wedding.  I am not really a fancy girl.  Sometimes I try to be and wear huge heels and then I end up miserable with the worst pain in my feet and I usually ask Dan if he can carry me around.  I am just not a girl that wears heels.  It’s funny because some girls just love heels and are more comfortable in heels.  I am not one of those girls.  I like ballet flats, sneakers, flip flops, uggs, riding boots, wedges on occasion, etc.–but it takes a lot for me to wear stiletto heels.  For some reason, I just don’t feel like myself in heels…

Anyways, that was a long tangent unrelated to finding proper vendors.  The thing that annoyed me when finding vendors was the super aggressive money mongers.  Unfortunately in the wedding business there are quite a few of them.  When I spoke to the particular catering company that I was first interested in going with, I was super excited.  I am not going to use any names, although, I would love to completely bash this company.  This caterer totally understood my vision and had so many great suggestions.  When I spoke to him he said that he was on vacation so he would send me an email with a rough idea of pricing based on our conversation.  After I hung up with him, I called Dan and said I think I found our caterer.  Dan and I looked over the rough email and thought it looked close to our budget, so we were super excited.  The caterer told me he would send me over a formal quote when he returned from vacation.  I thought that sounded great.  Mind you, this was in December for a wedding in October.  Two days later, without any formal quote in hand, I got an email from that caterer saying that he would need a non-refundable $300 deposit to hold our date, as he said, he was getting calls left and right for our date.  I told him that I didn’t really feel comfortable giving him $300 when I only spoke with him once and didn’t even receive a formal quote yet.  That was when his white trash wife sent me these awful emails that were so rude, and overall just not a way in which I would conduct my business.  I was shocked and honestly so turned off.  I was, however, extremely nervous, as well, because this caterer connected us to Dave and Sarah over at All Seasons Party Rentals.  We had spoken to Dave and Sarah about renting the tent and any other items we needed to make the farm a venue.  I was so worried that he was going to somehow ruin the relationship that we were forming with Dave and Sarah.  I told that caterer that I was no longer interested in having him or his wife anywhere near our wedding, and immediately called Dave. Within a couple hours Dave lined up a new caterer for us, who was a God send.

I firmly believe in the quote that everything happens for a reason, as I have said in other posts.  I truly believe that we found Chris at Carriage House Catering because the other jerk that we initially started planning with, would have ruined our wedding.  Chris was professional, responsive, and so excited to work with us on our big day.  He sent us over a detailed proposal immediately after talking to us and was more than willing to come over to the farm with Dave and Sarah to meet with Dan and I in January.  I finally breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Dave over and over again for helping us through a stressful situation.

Wedding vendors should not pressure you into making big decisions or ever ask you for a non-refundable deposit before even meeting face-to-face or providing a detailed formal quotation.  I can’t tell you how important it is to have a level of trust in your vendors.  We were planning a wedding in CT from NJ, and I never felt pressured by any of our vendors.  Our photographer, Anne, was even based out of Massachusetts and we still were able to get on the same page months in advance.  Chris, our caterer, often said to us “your wedding isn’t a dress rehearsal, you won’t get another one or have a do-over, so we need to do this right.”  I couldn’t agree more.

At the end of the day, you have to trust your gut.  If there are red flags from the beginning, do yourself a favor and walk away.  You need to assemble a team that you can rely on when things get difficult and issues you never plan for arise.  We had beautiful weather in the weeks leading up to our wedding, and then had a lovely hurricane traveling up the coast the actual week of our wedding.  Although it was stressful, we got through it with the help and positive outlook of our friends, family, and our vendors.

Thanks for reading and have a fun day 🙂

Here is my picture of the day…

Anne Lee Photography
Anne Lee Photography

Thankful for my mother-in-law and her creative hand…she made some additional signs “RAIN DATE…TODAY!” and “DRENCHED in Love” when we saw the forecast for the week!!!

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